Open or Closed?

One of the common questions that people ask us is if our adoption will be open or closed, so I thought I'd answer that here. First, I'll explain my understanding of the open/closed/semi-open scenarios (and I've sprinkled in some more photos that we included in our profile, since I can't post without pictures!)

In very simplistic terms, in a closed adoption birthparent(s) and adoptive parent(s) do not know or meet each other, and they don't know each others identities. Birthparents do not 'choose' the family, and there is no contact between birthparents and adoptive parents prior to or after the adoption happens.

In an open adoption, birthparents and adoptive parents know each others identities, and there is typically contact prior to the adoption, and then ongoing contact afterward (although this can vary extensively).

And then there is a semi-open adoption. In this case, there may be information shared between birthparents and adoptive parents, but not identifying information (no last names, addresses, etc). Birthparents usually choose who they want to be the adoptive parents (based on profiles, etc), so of course they usually see photos and read information about the family. Birthparents and adoptive parents may have contact with each other prior to the adoption -- they may even meet or talk on the phone -- and there may be some contact after the adoption as well, but this usually happens via the adoption agency (it's not usually direct).

So... which one for us?  Our adoption will be a semi-open adoption. 

We've put together our profile which will be shown to birthparents, and they will know our interests, our professions, and they will know we live in Wisconsin. Our last name and address will not be shared, nor any other specific identifying information. Once we are chosen, we will most likely be told the same type of information about our birthmother and birthfather (if possible).

Exactly how much contact we have with the birthparent(s) prior to the adoption will really depend on the wishes of our birthparents. We may get to speak to them on the phone, or even exhange emails (from a non-identifying email address). We may also meet the birthparents in person prior to the birth of the baby, if that is what they wish. If they do not really wish for these forms of contact, it isn't required, but we're told that birthparents typically welcome at least a little bit of contact prior to the adoption.

After the baby is born, Andy and I have willingly committed to send photos and a letter to the adoption agency twice a year until the child is 6, and then once a year after that until the child turns 18. The agency will make these photos and letters available to the birthparents, and they may view them if they wish. There is not usually any other ongoing contact between the families (although of course this varies too).

So that's the nutshell version... if you have any questions about it, please just ask us!